Monday, December 28, 2015

Heels? Jennifer Don’t!!!!

So this documentary is VERY different from the last one in many ways. One is that I have to dress up for this one.
I have to interview folks that are…well…….the kind of folks that probably don’t wear umm…like flip flops and cutoffs?…or sweats? Ever. I think that is probably accurate. Or maybe never a snuggy! Yes! These are people that will never wear a snuggy!

So when interviewing them, I can’t wear a snuggy either. Thank GOD! :)
But then the problem is that dressing up to me as a girl means heels. I know I am all f’ed up
Exhibit A: Zero sneakers. 
from my culture and Vogue magazine and too many episodes (ok every episode) of Sex and the City….but I just can’t fathom any outfit of a non-jean non-snuggy sort without heels. Just looks like I gave up after my knees.

While I have this belief set….the problem is….I usually am wearing jeans and therefore never get the chance to wear heels. And because I am not used to them, I have never really learned how to walk in them and I simply look drunk…..lost. Drunklost. And while I am many times these things. I am not during interviews.

First fun Jennifer shoe fact: I actually fall out of heels. I have no idea how that happens. Every time it happens I think about this. And how much I need to pay attention next time so I can learn from it. But I am always caught by surprise.  The kind of surprise you might have when a bicycle runs over you from behind. Like…..What? Or if  cat fell from the sky. Or a rhinocerous. Yes! A rhinoceros! Like that. Never expected that. Never. Caught me totally off guard. That ……rhino.

Then. I think I have the weight shift all wrong. For boys reading, basically in heels you are walking on your toes. But…you can shift to the heel. And wrong or right….I think I do this more than toes. Problem I just learned this week. If you then walk into grass…and you are a heel weight sink.
Exhibit B:
Evidence of "Grass Walking" by a Jennifer
Which is also I think probably interesting to watch. Probably. This is how my interview started with my fifth non snuggy wearer of this week. He came out to help me get my gear from my car. And that is where it began. I walked into grass…and sank. Instantly becoming about 4 inches shorter. I then….DID IT AGAIN! F. And then ……I DID IT AGAIN. He wanted to get away from me. I could tell.

Ok. Going off to great start. We get inside. I set up my tripod and nearly trip over it. Why? Because heels are long and pointy and while shoes usually are facing with the soles looking down at the earth, not me apparently. Apparently I tend to walk with them pointed out and therefore with heels I have these "catch stuff and trip Jennifer" parts. The man I am interviewing then actually asks if I would like to take the heels off. It is that obvious. I ….say no. 
:( F. 

I then must go downstairs to get another item….three more steps and I tumble. I caught myself as quietly as possible. But as I was falling…. I have found that when you fall or are in an accident (happens to me a lot) you would think that any thoughts during would happen really fast…no time to think. That is WRONG! You have time to think A LOT! And it can be pretty detailed. So when I know I am going down, I usually accept it fairly well, and then I begin to think. This time I thought. F. For a while.

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