So I saw a mouse in my basement apartment a few days ago. Crap…….It’s spring. ….WHY ARE THEY NOT PLAYING OUTSIDE?????? I don’t know. But they are not. Maybe I am more entertaining than things outside? Right??…no.
Anyway, I knew I had to do something. But I am um not into killing So must get some way to catch and release. Off to Home Depot. Find "Wall of Traps" that ….um.....Hmm. Did you know you can kill an animal by sticking it really hard to something else?
UGH!!! NO!!!! Search search search….THERE!!!! One catch and release trap!!!! SOLD!
So I get back home….set it…BAMM. I hear it! I look and the trap is wiggling all over the place! I rush to get my shoes on. Back to trap. Silence. Hmm. Maybe it is calm now? Or in shock? I place it in box. Take to nearest woodland area/park. I am giving it my list of instructions for how to live in the wild as we drive to location and then as I walk with box to woods on edge of soccer field. People watch curious as I tell the box to stay away from roads….and birds….and maybe swamps (I am considering what to worry about as we get along on the trail)…Maybe outdoors actually is...um.....dangerous? ????
And then we get to a wonderful location. Beautiful field next to woods. I then I think at the last sec……Please don’t let hawk take him…… immediately????. LOL. Ok. Not LOL. FOL.
I open the bottom….. place trap on ground….Silence. Ok. Maybe he is scared. I finally peek inside…. SIGH. All I can say is that I am FUCKING GLAD I DIDN’T TAKE HIM TO THE BEST FUCKING WOODLAND WHICH IS MAYBE 10 MIN FARTHER OF A DRIVE…..MFER MOUSE who IS NOT in the BOX!! ……That I have been giving advice to…..in front of the park people.
NEXT DAY.....Fine. How to remedy this? Must obviously seal him in pretty much as soon as he gets trapped right? So I get some gaffers tape and peel some pieces. Leave them ready near the trap. Set trap and listen and wait. BANG!!!! I HEAR HIM. Rush over. Trap moving all about. TAPE TAPE TAPE. Got him!!!
Take to park to release. Waiting for him to come out of trap and dash to woods when daughter and father come up to ask what’s going on. I explain. Father then explains he does the same…..but with squirrels…..outside.
I leave you all for a second to consider this as I did. Squirrels……. Outside. Catch....and release.....
He then said….I caught over 20 in a month!
Somehow he has helped me feel like the less crazy one. Which is really hard to do. But there it is.