Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Cough Drops, Calories and Camels

How many calories in a pencil? It really is a reasonable question. For a Jennifer.   
So I’m in a country where women stay mostly inside and definitely don’t go for runs. So fear of weight gain definitely a concern. How to stay small? No food seems to be a first rate contender. I think I can make it on one meal a day. I’m sure I can. That has to be less than 1000 calories right? So how is it going you might ask? Well, I can tell you that today after eating 15 cough drops out of shear pain of starvation, I suddenly considered the calories they might be? F I thought! I could be killing my diet with these cough drops! So I grabbed the bag and looked on the back. guess what? Nothing about nutrition. None. Why?
I was perplexed. I looked on the front, and then back again on the back. Where are the nutrition facts? Why did they forget them? BC Jennifer!!!! THESE ARE NOT FOOD!!!!! THEY ARE MEDICINE!! They also don’t post calories on Advil bottles, or shampoo, or on pencils. I wonder if I am the only one ever to check? On cough drops I mean. 
No calorie pencil......probably. 
There’s a camel in the room
So what’s it like when you are in a country that has never seen a white person? Well. I suppose it might be the same if you are in a country that has never seen a dark person. And if you are dark. BC if you are white in a white country….then well we’d have nothing to talk about. Unless I guess if the white person was wearing clown clothes and yelling something about the lack of nutrition facts on packs of crayons. Then….probably we'd have something to talk about. So back to white in dark country. What’s it like.
So basically its kind of like if you were in the arctic and suddenly a camel appeared. And you had not been drinking. No drugs. No starvation with only cough drops to keep you alive. None of that shit. Just normal day, Wheaties for breakfast and nice stroll outside. When bang! A camel. What would you do? Well I suppose if you had your iphone I would wager you’d saddle up next to it (given it appeared friendly and looked relaxed and all) and take a photo. Post it on FB. Check it out everyone! I’m not drunk. And there is a camel in the snow today! First to report! That…..is what it's like. Well.... not for the camel. Bc the camel doesn’t have a phone. Or he shouldn’t have a phone. I hope he doesn’t have a phone. I wonder if he has a cough drop?
It's for you.